if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
