her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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