too bad you live with your parents still
I don't think brook has ever known best
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
