I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
