Christians are straight up FREAKS
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
