I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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