i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I stole a fireplace last night.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
