If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
