I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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