yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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