Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
