it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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