I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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