Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
