U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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