Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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