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• (330): View more from Ohio

  We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking

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• (646): View more from New York

  all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.

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• (234): View more from Ohio

  Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.

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• (914): View more from New York

  it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"

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• (518): View more from New York

  You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.

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• (716): View more from New York

  It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.

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• (868): View more from Trinidad and Tobago-Carib

  Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...

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