can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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