the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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