someone get that fucking seahorse.
too bad you live with your parents still
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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