If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
