he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
