stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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