I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Green mimosas i think yes
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
