i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
