C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
