I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
