we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
