Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
