summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
