then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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