She's JV to your varsity
so explain again why im purple
no
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
