apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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