I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
When are your genitals available?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
