He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
