You smell like stripper and shame
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize