you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
