Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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