are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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