Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
