Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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