I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
