it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
