so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
