Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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