I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
