When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
