he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
