I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
