Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
